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Monday, June 09, 2008

Dear Depression

You have once again ruined my life. Along with Anger or should I say Rage, you have once again severed the ties I have with my family. I don't know if I should thank you or I should curse. I feel I should do both. But I sometimes wish I could just be indifferent.

Today was the worst day you could've presented yourself. Instead of poisoning only me, you poisoned my Dad and sister. I should hate you for that. But I'm tired of hating. And all I want is to get out of this.

I don't know what I should write next to "this". I don't know if it's "this mess" or "this family" or simply "this life". I opted "this life" when I was in Grade 6. The only thing that stop me is the thought of hell.

But now, I don't believe in heaven or in hell. Which makes its more easier, I guess. All I need to do is choose "this life" and be done with it. At least my problems would simply fly away. And you know that when people die, the people around them suddenly change. They suddenly think that the dead were all nice, all pretty, all saint.

I'd like to be regarded as that someday.

Again, you came into my life. How long will you stay? It might take me years to forget you and move on with my life. That's dragging. I just hipe now that you're with me again, people (especially my family) will stop and notice it. Maybe next time, I wouldn't be the only one concern of you choosing "this life". Maybe they will reach out and point to me that I don't really have to choose.


Until your next attack,
Lorey

-Lo-

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