rock on

Sunday, October 28, 2007

On Death and Terrorism

My AP193 teacher loves giving lectures by expecting us, the students, to ask questions. So, one day since he finished his lecture in 15 mins, he went on threatening us that if we don't ask questions, he's sure that we will fail. So i asked a question. Which was really far from the subject.

I asked about Anarchism.

I never really understood it. Even if one of my favorite films is V for Vendetta, I couldn't grasp that it could be reality.

Everytime there's news about a bombing in the Philippines, it didn't really bother me that much. Not that I'm used to it or anything. But it's just that it never happened before my eyes or somewhere near or it wasn't a cause of the death or injury of anyone I know.

Until the Glorietta 2 bombing.

My tito, Niño Caesar Vidamo, was one of the first people that the rescuers carried from the rubble of Glorietta 2. He was dead on the spot. He was eating lunch with two of his workmates and friends that day. They were already at the door, trying to find a taxi to ride back to their work when the bomb/gas (we still don't know what triggered the explosion) accident happened.

They were instantly killed.

I didn't even know that there was a bombing until my mom mentioned it over our late lunch. I haven't seen the news. I didn't get text messages.

By 6:00 pm, my tito Kaka (Tito Niño's brother) texted me if my family knew anyone working in Makati Medical Center. His brother's name appeared and they wanted to know if he was ok while his parents were on the way to Makati (they live in Malabon).

We can't give a name since we don't know anyone working in Makati Medical Center. Although we were alarmed, we didn't think it was serious since it was said in the news that only 4 people were dead.

Finally when we were having dinner, my mom's cousin called and told us that tito Niño was already dead. That's when we learned that he was one of the first killed by the explosion.

We were suppose to visit them (their whole family) on Oct.29 since it would be tito Niño's 28th bday. we didn't know that we were going to see them mourning over his dead body last Oct.24.

I loved V for Vendetta because of the political issues and the triumph of the people over the bad government through V's plans. It was glorious.

But then I realize that when it was shown in the movies, dead people killed by V's actions weren't magnified. People who were civilians. People who were just working at that particular place.

It's sad that my tito is dead.

But what makes it more sad is the known fact that true justice will never be served... not only in the Philippines, but in the whole world.

-Lo-

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Last Night was the Best Night

Yes, it was.

For the first time in the looooooongest night, I had a complete 8-hr sleep. I woke up at 1:00 pm today. I cherished every second my mind and body was resting. :D

It's my sembreak!! Haaay... I love freedom. :D

There are many things I want to do this sembreak.

1) sleep :D
2) exercise
3) party
4) read read read! :D
5) learn photoshop
6) learn how to make a website (can anybody recommend a book? Or tutor me? pleaaaaaaase?)
7) job job job =)

aizza, i will post the sakay pics tom. sorry hindi ko kaya ngayon, inaantok na naman ako. ehehehe :D post ko sya bukas promise :)

haaay. gusto ko rin mag out of town sana matuloy yung mga plano namin nina aizza :D batangas, laguna, ilocos! kahit saan :D

-Lo-

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Making the same mistake thrice

I talked to my friend over the phone.

Realizations started hitting me. I thought I was wiser. But then again, not.

I was an outcast on the latter part of my gradeschool years. I was again an outcast when I was in highschool. And I didn't know it could happen to me again now that I'm in college.

And what mistake did I do?

I tried helping friends. I listened. I talked. I gave advice.

And I created enemies.

These enemies were my friends. They confided in me like I confided in them. And since I was helping a torn relationship to become whole again, I was another enemy.

They (usually they come in packs. I think they believe in the power of numbers) thought that I was betraying them since I was helping their victim. They thought I was spilling secrets. (Seriously, with my screwed memory how can you even think that I can remember every single thing you say to me. I mean for crying out loud, we could be close at one point and I would be forgetting your name after sometime.)

It happened to me over and over and over again.

My friend said I was standing up. I was doing the right thing. How is it that doing the right thing makes me feel so hurt, so alone, so violated? Do I have to lose every bit of sanity in my head before I experience the benefits of doing the right thing?

To my friends, well friends who know me, my bullies and the victims of their crimes there is only one question I dare ask... Why didn't you stand up for me?

I know you don't believe their reasons for bullying me. I know that there are rumors they spread that you will can certainly testify not to be true.

Then, why not help me?

I hate this feeling. This feeling of rejection. It's the worst feeling ever.

I can't help but think why I didn't end all this before it happened again. I mean, I actually picked this life over my soul rotting in hell. I suddenly feel that if I'd known it would happen over and over and over again, I would've ended my life back in highschool. I wouldn't have been so scared that suicide is a one-way ticket to hell.

Because this...

THIS IS HELL.

-Lo-